Paper's Game

"Yeah, that sounds like something Pine Needles would do, ain't it?"

"Wait, why is the Post Office starting up again? Is that a thing that you can do dad?"

"I don't know." Hot Fuzz turns to you two to see if you had any knowledge...

The semi-former postpony tilts his head back and forth and winces slightly, saying, "Well...no...not technically. It's..." Lickity stops abruptly, his eyes widening after a moment and a small smile forming on his face. "Actually, maybe technically with the four of us!" He turns and trots to the door to the business office, continuing as he goes, "There's some special regulations involving the smaller towns like this one." His horn glows as a surprisingly not-covered-in-dust book floats out of the room and opens in front of Lickity at a readable level so he can make sure that he's not just making things up.

Starsong peers over Lickity's shoulder to see what the book says.

(For reference, Kal rolled a Nat 20 here...)

There are several rules and conditions for self-running the post office. It's in Legalese, but in layman's terms:

1. It must be a currently shut down Post Office, no taking over one that is in use.
   
2. You must have some sort of representative for the Post Office to make sure that whoever is running it now is doing a good enough job and not sullying the name of the Post Office. Usually an employee or former employee (in good standing) is good enough.
   
3. In addition, the post office will be inspected at least twice a year by an external moderator.
   
4. You will not receive any financial support or insurance from the Post Office, but supplies (such as envelopes and stamps) will be provided for you to sell.
   
5. A large precentage of pre-tax profits will be taken by the Post Office.
   
6. You are liable for any damages caused to or by the Post Office you are running.
   

(There may be other things I can't remember at the moment...)

"Yeah, yeah, this bit!" Lickity telekinesis-es the open book over to Hot Fuzz so he can also look. After letting him look for a moment, he adds somewhat worriedly, "Though...we haven't...actually...started that process yet."

Hot Fuzz looks over it. "Well, if it's legal, then you better get a move on, haven't you?"

"Does this mean they aren't going to jail dad?" Fuzz smiles and gives the colt a pat on the head...

"We'll be off then. You folks have a good day." He and Bright Badge leaves, although they spot a familiar face just outside. "Morning Chance, heard you got a new job," jokes the officer...

"Yup. I'll be the new sheriff. Because we can just decide these things on our own now eh?" Chance says with a wink and a laugh.

Hot Fuzz shares your laugh as he walks away. His son does not, as a shocked and concern look grows on his face...

Chance continues to chuckle to herself as she walks into the post office.

Lickity walks after Hot Fuzz to the door, managing a nervous, "R-right! Yes sir! You as well!"
After they're out, he rushes into the business office to grab a letterhead and a roll of stamps, before quickly writing a letter on the front counter. "Welcome back Chance! We've narrowly avoided jail."

Meta:

"Thanks. Um.... that's good then? So seems we have a letter, figured we might want to all look at it together." Chance replies as takes out said letter.

Chance shrugs and says, "Let's find out!" and opens the letter.

The letter reads as follows:

Spoiler:

Before the letter, the unicorn had looked somewhat anxious.
After the letter though, a smile slowly forms on Lickity's face, and a moment later he lets out a laugh in relief and collapses his face into his hooves. "OH! It is GOOD to be back at work again." He looks at Starsong and Chance, still chuckling. "Would you believe...that I've been so bored out of my mind, and read so many novels lately...that I expected that letter to be some kind of...FOREBODING anonymous message! OH GOODNESS it is good to be back doing things." He puts one of the stamps onto the letter he wrote and watches as the magic turns the letter purple and teleports it away.

Meta:

Chance just chuckles in response to both of them.

Pine Needles enters the Post Office, saddlebags stuffed to the brim with his doo-daas and knick-knacks. "Hi guys!" greets the pony as he moves towards the offices...

"Hay Needles, delivered all the leftover mail." Chance replies.

Lickity gives a mock salute to Pine, before adding to Chance's comment. "Just sent off a letter to the official Post Office so we can actually operate legitimately."
He nods his head back and forth in a wishy-washy manner, before adding, "Well, to start the process so we can be legitimate."

"Great to hear," responds Pine to both comments, "What's next?"

Chance looks from Pine Needles to Lickity Split back to Pine Needles and says slowly, "That's a good question...."

"Well paperwork's most of the official stuff. We should triplicate most of the forms so Hot Fuzz has a copy as well. Just in case, yeah?" He telekinesises the manual over in front of him and flips to the relevant parts. "It looks like the first thing we need to be ready for would be a visit from who the manual calls 'an external moderator.' Basically they're just a go-between for us and the official office, and their peridoic trips are to make sure we've got the post office in good shape so we're not besmirching the Post Office or anything."

Meta:

"So we're really not doing a party or having cake or anything? We should do something aside from extra work for your birthday Needles." Chance says.